Aries Season and Venus in Pisces

I took an unplanned break from writing last week because my mental health hit a really low spot. The past couple of months have been very challenging for me on all fronts, emotionally, energetically, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I’ve felt stuck in a stagnant space, as if my present circumstances have been immobilizing me, but I’ve realized that the majority of these feelings have been rooted in a fear of what will happen when I initiate change. I crave change; I want to break free from the circumstances that feel so unhealthy for me, but I also deeply struggle with feeling ready to do so. However, this week, feeling the renewal of Aries season and with the first eclipse of the year on the horizon, I made a jump and (FINALLY) put my two weeks in at my job. The work environment has been so unprofessional, misogynistic, and unsupportive. A situation involving inappropriate touch from a customer was my final straw, and I am here paving my own path forward despite not having a very organized plan for what’s next. I have an idea, but I’m still a little afraid, and yet, I know that this is what I need. This newsletter is my foreseeable future, and I can’t keep sacrificing my inspiration for monetary compensation.

While I’ve been fearful to initiate change out of worry that I won’t be provided for, I’ve been reflecting on past experiences to remind myself how ego-based those thoughts are. I’ve been shown time and time again that each situation, person, experience, and opportunity I’ve been given has a role in my life in some capacity. Every job I’ve wanted, I have just sent out the belief into the universe that it’s there for me, and every single time I’ve gotten the job that serves me so well for the season I need it for. Even this job I am leaving behind has served a purpose, but now that its role has been completed, it’s time for me to move on.

This job I’m leaving behind has been extremely emotionally exhausting, which has led me to lose a lot of motivation for writing, taking care of myself, and making progress toward my goals. I’ve found myself in such a weird period of desire for change, but then so discouraged at the thought of being the only one who can make said change happen. And those feelings happening simultaneously seem to pull me in opposing directions, keeping me in a place of stagnant inaction. But as I’ve been attentively watching the transits in my chart, it all makes sense. As my sun sign has been undergoing an intensifying connection with Saturn, I’ve been feeling myself slowing down more, having less energy, and needing more time alone to reflect, contemplate, and process the waves of emotions these conflicting experiences have been throwing at me lately. But, as I’ve been learning over the past few years with all of the Saturn aspects I’ve been experiencing, each of these seasons of perceived isolation or destruction is there to make way for new opportunities and experiences that are going to be more expansive and exciting than I can presently imagine. Everything serves its role in the cycle, and, from what I’ve noticed, it is often in these restricted, exhausting, “Is this all even worth it?” moments that the breakthrough is right on the other side.

Thankfully, I feel myself “coming out of the cave,” if you will, as the earth is waking up around me and I’m getting a little more sunshine. Hopefully, this means I will have more inspiration to write more frequently and that this is the beginning of a much-needed new chapter. Because regardless of the temporary feelings of failure or the chatter in my mind asking me, “Why are you still doing this???,” I could never stop doing something that I love so dearly. Anyway, I have to go to my 6th to last shift at this god-awful job, LMAO. Happy Aries season, astrological new year, and spring equinox. There are big things on the horizon.